Here's a small excerpt of my journal from a few days ago that I've debated back-and-forth on posting or not. Obviously I've decided to, because I think a lot of us are in the same predicament and can relate to this or a version of it:
"I have sinned my fair share in my life time, nothing wild & crazy but things that stemmed from purely being human and messing up. What I've noticed throughout all of those ups and downs is that I feel the absolute worst (I am talking down in the dumps, all I can think about, guiltiest feeling in the world) when I am disobedient or hurt other people. I hate the feeling of disappointing others. I literally feel like satan himself. Not the disappointment of losing a tennis match or doing bad on a test, but the disappointment of my character or even the misconception of it. Whether it be by my family, my friends, or Heavenly Father (which explains the obedience part) it is all the same.
Never will I ever intentionally say anything bad about someone that I know. And if I don't know someone, I have no right to say anything bad about them anyways.
It's a struggle being human, isn't it? It's a good thing I'm on semi-decent terms with the man upstairs."
This post is a little personal but we are all in this pickle of being human so might as well be in a pickle together.
In other news, I have been dreading this week for many reasons.
1. I can't go home for Thanksgiving.
2. I work 38 hours next week. I thought it was 37, but nope, 38. Which includes a black Friday shift from 3 pm to midnight and then shipment on Saturday from 4 am to 1030 am. 4 hours of sleep? I don't do well on 7 hours, how am I supposed to swing 4?
3. I work 8 am to 5 pm Thanksgiving day.
4. All of my roommates will be gone most of the time.
5. I have a math test tomorrow that I need to do really well on.
In other words, I'm going to be emotionally unstable this week. Please, give me a call. It would greatly lift my spirits.
Now for some significant things that happened this week. All of which are good news.
1. My sister visited me, we had so much fun.
2. I finished knitting my scarf.
3. I got 100% plus extra credit on two tests, one was multiple choice and the other was an essay exam. I studied my bum off to say the least. When I found out my scores I screamed, did a happy dance, and told myself I was the best a lot of times. Which sounds totally conceited, but it was just an in-the-moment thing.
4. I have more than $3 now. Thank you pay day.
5. I can come home for Christmas!! Also, Bri & Joe are coming up the 22nd and 23rd so I can see them then too! I haven't seen either of them since March and it's been dreadful.
6. I went to Perks of Being a Wallflower and it's my new favorite movie. So thought provoking and I love that.
7. Painted pictures on our windows which is crazy because we're not very decorative but I thoroughly enjoyed it.
8. I love Taco Bell and I haven't had it in a solid month or so.
9. Finished Boy Meets World. I cried a little and felt kind of depressed after. It was such a beloved show to Call and I. Surely I'll dedicate a post to it in a couple days when I get over the sadness of finished them.
10. Logan main street is charming.
I'm too lazy to put these pictures in order but here you go.
I'll surely live vicariously through all of you on Thanksgiving. Have a great break, I will be sure to fill my non-working hours with loads of fun things and I hope you do too.